Mystery Bug Berry Sludge Pie

IMG_0320I’m worried.  I know there are plenty of reasons to worry.  (1 Peter 5:7 “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”)  But IF I was going to worry, I think I would worry about my eldest granddaughter.  IF I was going to worry, I would worry that she inherited the “crazy gene” from her mom and my sweet wife, bless her heart.  (Hint: you can get away with saying lots of things if you add “sweet” and “bless her heart.”)

Back to my granddaughter…  many of us are finding the need to phone those we love.  So during the phone chat, I told my granddaughter, Pipes,  This is the granddaughter who helped me serve bugs to the  The Gateway Bug screening at ACFF (w/ special tasting) in 2017 at Shepherd University (Click here if you want to read more about that.)  One of Pipes’ aspirations was to become a baker.  So I thought I would share my newest baking adventure.

  • I began with the directions, “Start with a jar of mystery berry sludge…”  Now at this point normal people are supposed to exclaim something like, “That’s gross!”  But Pipes interrupted me with, “Wait a minute.  I need to write this down.”  So I continued with directions as follows:
  • (I am NOT a baker, so I pulled a double pie crust dough out of the freezer.)
  • Preheat the the oven to 425 F.
  • Bring 2 1/2 C. of the mystery berry sludge to a boil then reduce heat to a simmer.  (I really don’t know what it was.  It looked like blackberry, but it had no seeds.  I probably ran berries through a Squeezo.  But they were more tart than I would expect of blackberries.)
  • Add 1/4 cup of sugar.  (I found out it needs more sweetener.  You can add a dollop of ice cream when it is served.)
  • Make a thick paste with 2 Tbs. of corn starch.  Add that to boiling sludge.  (I REALLY think I need another term if this is to be socially acceptable, but synonyms don’t sound any better: muck, mire, ooze, silt, alluvium, slime, viscous mixture.)
  • Add 2 C. dried apples from an unknown archaeological era.
  • Add a couple pinches of salt.
  • I smear Crisco on a 9 ” pie pan.
  • Melt 2 Tbs. of butter.  Coat the top of the bottom pie crust (to prevent the sludge from soaking into the crust.)
  • Pour the mystery berry sludge and the dried apples into the pie crust.
  • Add another 2 Tbs. of butter.
  • Add the top crust.
  • Brush on an additional 2 Tbs. of butter and sprinkle sugar on top.
  • Bake at 425 F for 15 min.  Reduce the heat the 350 F and bake for an additional 30 min.

Finally!  I know this is what you were waiting for.  (This is a bug blog after all.)  Sprinkle your favorite bug garnish on top for a nice nutty kick. The photo shows Entomo Farms dried crickets and Livin Farms mealworms.  My web host migrated my website, and now my bug page is (temporarily?) unavailable.  Here is a site that listsento-companies.

As a bonus, I added photos of Terry Lynn’s muffin with bug toppings.

So, in conclusion, I will admit I am not really worried about Pipes or any of the other crazy ladies in my life.  They are indeed crazy, but I love them just the way they are.

Stay safe, wash your hands, keep your distance– and try not to worry.  Bug appetit!

Steve

 

 

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s